POTI..........5 YEARS GONE 07/28/14
A picture of you I carry in my heart
I close my eyes to see it
when the world gets dark.
A memory of you I carry in my soul
I wrap it close around me
when the nights get cold.
If you ask how I am, I'd say just fine
But the truth is
if you could read my mind
Not a day goes by
that I don't think of you.. Poti
I light a candle every day
Hoping the pain will fade away.
But with the dawn of each new day
I realize you're still gone
May this candles burn forever
in your memory my precious child.
Although
death has seperated us physically
Faith and love
have bound us eternally.
Though we cannot see you
We know you are here with us
in our every thought
as we think about you each day.
Though we cannot touch you
We feel the warmth of your smile
As we turn the page
to a new chapter in our lives.
Angel Sunrise
Have you ever seen a sunrise
That was streaked with pink and gold
It's called an Angel Sunrise
Is the story I've been told.
They streak the sky with color
To lift our spirits high
They paint with lovely colors
As through the clouds they fly.
These Angels have a special task
They brighten up our day
Our skies they color lovely
To begin a golden day.
The next time that you see a sky
That's gold and pink and bright
Look carefully and you might see
The Angel that's in flight.
We think of you in silence
We often speak your name
But all we have are memories
And your picture in a frame.
Your resting place we visit
And put flowers there with care
But no one knows the heartache
As we turn and leave you there.
...............
"I am sending a dove to heaven with a parcel on it's wings,
be careful when you open it, its full of beautiful things.
Inside are a million kisses wrapped up in a million hugs,
to say how much I miss you and to send you all my love.
I hold you close within my heart and there you will remain,
to walk with me throughout my life, until we meet again."
I love and miss you so much Poti.
Dad and Mom
Two tired eyes are sleeping
Two willing hands are still.
For one who suffered far too much
Is resting in God's will.
You never said goodbye to us
Perhaps it's just as well
We never could have said goodbye
To one we loved so well.
There's a special angel in heaven That is a part of me
It is not where I wanted him
But where God wanted him to be
Like a night time shooting star
And though he is in heaven
He isn't very far
Like only an angel can do
I would've held him more often
If the end I only knew
To the heavens up above
Please take care of my angel
And send him all my love
|
I wrote the following. I hope it explains how many of us parents feel since we have lost a child.
What is Normal after your child dies? Normal is having tears waiting behind every smile when you realize someone important is missing from all the important events in your family's life. Normal is trying to decide what to take to the cemetery for Birthdays, X-mas, Thanksgiving, New Years, Valentine's Day, July 4th and Passover. Normal is feeling like you can't sit another minute without getting up and screaming, because you just don't like to sit through anything anymore. Normal is not sleeping very well EVER AGAIN. Normal is reliving the accident continuously through your eyes and mind, holding your head to make it go away. Normal is having the TV on the minute you walk into the house to have noise, because the silence is deafening. Normal is staring at every MAN who looks like POTI. And then thinking of the age he'd would be now. Then wondering why it is even important to imagine it, because it will never happen. Normal is every happy event in your life always being backed up with sadness lurking close behind, because of the hole in your heart. Normal is telling the story of your child's death as if it were an everyday, commonplace activity, and then seeing the horror in someone's eyes at how awful it sounds. And yet realizing it has become a part of your "normal." Normal is each year coming up with the difficult task of how to honor your childs's memory and their birthdays and survive these days. And trying to find the balloon or flag that fit's the occasion. Happy Birthday? Not really. Normal is my heart warming and yet sinking at the sight of something special POTI loved. Thinking how he would love it, but how he is not here to enjoy it. Normal is having some people afraid to mention OUR son, Luis. Normal is making sure that others remember him. Normal is after the funeral is over everyone else goes on with their lives, but we continue to grieve our loss forever. Normal is weeks, months, and years after the initial shock, the grieving gets worse, not better. Normal is not listening to people compare anything in their life to this loss, unless they too have lost a child. Nothing compares. NOTHING! Even if your child is in the remotest part of the earth away from you - it doesn't compare. Losing a parent is horrible, but having to bury your own child is unnatural. Normal is being depressed - taking pills, and trying not to cry all day, because you know your mental health depends on it. Normal is realizing you do cry everyday. Normal is being impatient with everything and everyone but someone stricken with grief over the loss of their child. Normal is sitting at the computer crying, Normal is not listening to people make excuses for God. "G-d may have done this because…" I know Poti is in "heaven," but hearing people trying to think up excuses as to why a fantastic young man was taken from this earth is not appreciated and makes absolutely no sense to this grieving family. Normal is being too tired to care if you paid the bills. Normal is wondering this time whether you are going to say you have three children or two children, because you will never see this person again and it is not worth explaining that Luis is dead. And yet when you say you have tw children to avoid that problem, you feel horrible as if you have betrayed the dead child. Normal is asking God why he took your child's life instead of yours? Normal is knowing you will never get over this loss, not in a day nor a million years. Normal is having therapists agree with you that you will never "really" get over the pain and that there is nothing they can do to help you because they know only bringing back your child back from the dead could possibly make it "better." Normal is learning to lie to everyone you meet and telling them you are fine. You lie because it makes others uncomfortable if you cry. You've learned it's easier to lie to them, then to tell them the truth that you still feel empty and it's probably never going to get any better -- ever. And last of all... Normal is hiding all the things that have become "normal" for you to feel, so that everyone around you will think that you are "normal." Please light a candle for our son here: |
We had Luis's Stone put out at the cemetary December 5th,2011- IT IS BEAUTIFUL! PICTURES ARE AT BOTTOM SLIDE SHOW, PICTURES 1 & 2
.
.
..
Where the gentle breezes blow,
Lies my son I love so dearly;
He died a few years ago.
His resting place I visit,
Placing flowers there with care,
But no one knows my heartache,
When I turn to leave them there.
Though his smile is gone forever,
And his hands I cannot touch,
Still I have so many memories
Of the son I loved so much.
His memory is my keepsake,
With which I will never part.
God has him in His keeping; 
Last night while I was trying to sleep, My son's voice I did hear, I opened my eyes and looked around, But he did not appear. He said, "Mom, you've got to listen, You've got to understand, God didn't take me from you, Mom, He only took my hand. When I called out in pain that day, The moment that I died, He reached down and took my hand, And pulled me to His side. He pulled me up and saved me From the misery and pain. My body was hurt so badly, I could never be the same. My search is really over now, I've found happiness within, All the answer to my empty dreams And all that might have been. I love you all and miss you so, And I'll always be nearby. My body's gone forever, But my spirit will never die. And so, you must all go on now, And live, and understand...... God did not take me from you, He only took my hand."
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Your name is so precious, It will never grow old, it is etched in our hearts, in letters of gold.
.
.
.
If I Had Known
If I had known it would be the last time that I would see you go out the door,
I would have given you an extra hug and kiss and then called you back for one more.
If I had known it would be the last time I would see you smile and hear what you had to say,
I would have recorded each action and word, so I could play them back day after day after day.
If I had known it would be the last time, I could spare an extra minute or two,
I would have stopped what I was doing and spent every single minute with you.
If I had known it would be the last time I would have to share your day,
well I just knew we'd have so many more, I would not have let that one slip away.
If I had only known what was in store for us that day I would not have let you out of my sight,
Instead I would have stood by your side to protect you and held back the hands of time with all my might.
If had known what I know now
I would have prayed to God and begged for Him to change our fate somehow…..
Author Unknown-Revised
.
.
,
.
.
MY CHILD
On the day God took you
I thought that I would die.
I sit and wonder where the time has gone?
I've asked alot of whys??
With people all around me
I still feel alone inside.
From all their words of comfort,
I still can't seem to hide,
I sometimes think I might be dreaming
That I'd wake and find you here,
I think often, "This can't be happening."
As I wipe another tear.
I wonder if the pain will ever end?
But mostly, I wonder when??
It's hard to be without you,
At times the days seem long,
Sometimes I just sit crying,
When there's really nothing even wrong.
I wish we'd had more time,
Before your life was done.
I hope your resting peacefully,
Our precious Son.....
.
.
.
.
.
..
.Sometimes we must
get hurt in order to grow we must fail
in order to know
that sometimes our visions clear
only after our eyes
are washed away with tears
.
.
Life is too short
Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness
Laugh when you can
Apologize when you should
And let go of what you can’t change
Love deeply
And forgive quickly
Take chances
Give everything
And have no regrets
Lifes too short to be unhappy
You have to take
The good with the bad
Smile when your sad
Love what you got
And always remember what you had
Always forgive
Never forget
Learn from your mistakes
But never regret
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
In MeMoRy oF Are Angel Luis *.. ..If there's someone you can talk to someone no one can replace.. ..If there's someone you can laugh with til' the tears run down your face.. ..If there's someone you can turn to when you need a helping hand.. ..If there's someone you can count on to advise and understand.. ..If there's someone you can sit with and need not say a word.. ..If there's someone you can trust to keep each confidence they've heard.. ..If there's someone you think more of as each year comes to an end.. ..You're a very lucky person because Luis * had been your FrIeNd<
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
...
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
Dearest Mom
When you wonder
the meaning of life and love,
Know that I am with you
Close your eyes and feel me kissing you
in the gentle breeze across your cheek.
When you begin to doubt
that you shall ever see me again,
Quiet your mind and hear me,
I am in the whisper of the heavens,
Speaking of your love.
When you lose your identity,
When you question who you are,
Where you are going...
Open your heart and see me,
I am the twinkle of the stars
Smiling down upon you...
Lighting the path for your journey.
When you awaken each morning,
Not remembering your dreams
But feeling content and serene,
Know that I was with you,
Filling your nights with thoughts of me.
When you linger in the remnant pain,
Wholeness seeming so unfamiliar,
Think of me.
Know that I am with you
Touching you through the shared tears
Of a gentle friend easing the pain.
As the sunrise illuminates the desert sky,
As that breathtaking brilliance
awakens your spirit,
Think of our time together...
All too brief...but ever brilliant.
When you are certain of us together,
When you are certain of your destiny,
Know that God created that moment in time
Just for us.
I am with you always.
~Author Unknown~
| Angel | Miss you bro | February 20, 2012 |
| Tracee Gabriel | Ex- Wife | August 20, 2009 |
| Laura Hartman | Friend of Melinda and Dennis | August 3, 2009 |
| Roberto Dorbat | Uncle | August 3, 2009 |
We will all die someday. Were like water spilled on the ground; no one can gather it back. But God does'n't take away life. Instead, he plans ways that those who have been sent away will not have to stay away from him!
2 Samuel 14:14
Tio Robert
| Lelia Dorbat | Aunt | August 3, 2009 |
Charlie, what can I say? I love you very much! That's why I'm praying to God, that he gives you the chance to put your heart at ease, in knowing that your brother loved you very much, and that he knew that you also loved him lots. Remember that God will always give you the strength if you ask for it and he will always be there for you.
Your Titi,
Lily
